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Lovely Leslie

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July 12th, 2007

(no subject)

Not to state the obvious, but it's been quite a long time since I've posted.
So here I am,
once again,
attempting to reclaim lost interweb territory.
It feels like quite a bit has happened since I left Charlottesville.
I've been in Utah for what seems like forever.
2 months and 7 days to be exact.
The first memory I have to post about is Merl. Merl fucking B.

Merl B's was the name of the only bar within walking distance of USF (Utah Shakespearean Festival) housing...so naturally, I was a regular. Merl, the owner, was a slight man of wrinkled decorum. He was anywhere from 62 to 84 years old, and he wore standard Utah attire, most likely purchased at Cow Ranch, The Walmart for farming folk. Cowboy hat, boots, a plaid shirt with pearly buttons and an enormous, glittering belt buckle. I'm sure he had several buckles, but the only one I remember was about the size of a salad plate in the shape of a dollar sign. Normally, Merl could be found behind the bar enjoying a delicious vanilla flavored Ensure. Those were the glory days. When 3.2% beer flowed freely. Techie and actor alike flocked to this watering hole, an oasis of semisobriety.

An aside, can I say how much I despise being called a goddamn theater techie. I'm just a girl who likes to make things, that doesn't make me a techie. Techies are so lame and sullen. Being around them all day is truly exhausting.

I had some of my best nights at Merl's. I danced the Virginia Shuffle with Dan the bouncer, who claimed to be an ex CIA operative. I didn't believe him at first, but then came the night when he told me about Desert Storm, and now that I think about it, he had a mad tick that would act up whenever loud music was played. My professor and I, along with her First Hand and my brother, drank 12 pitchers of beer at Merl's. 12. You can't do that anywhere else in America...or the world. Because most places on this planet sell beer that actually gets you drunk.

There was karaoke on Friday nights, and the MC would regularly sing a song entitled, "The lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying." Yep, Merl's was a real gem.

That was before Merl skipped town, leaving before paying his $10,000 beer tab to Budweiser. He was on the lam for a while, but they caught up with him at Joshua Tree National Forest and his court date is scheduled for July 12...today! Susanna and I found this out yesterday when we drove by Merl's, for nostalgia's sake. His dive is now being remodeled into Mike's Tavern, which I'm hoping will sell hard alcohol because I miss saying things like, "make mine a double," and " just put it on my tab."

February 24th, 2007


For the past couple of weeks I've been on this career high. You know, that feeling you get when you finally think you've found your perfect job. I was really happy and making plans and actually liking them. Then last week happened. I can't say what ultimately caused me to reevaluate my career choices. Maybe it was last Monday night, when my boss forced me to take shot after shot of cheap, white tequila. Or maybe it was those frat boys who made fun of me while I was on my way to work. Or maybe it was the construction that is going on outside of the theater. All of those scary machines and chain link fences make me feel weird.

It all started a couple of weeks ago when I went to Chapel Hill to check out their MFA program. I don't think I made a very good impression. Don't get me wrong I was perfectly likeable and all, but I don't think I asked the right questions and had the right type of enthusiasm about the program. I do believe in hard work, and commitment. Unfortunately, I don't like the idea of having to give up my other interests in order to have a career. Maybe that's a little selfish, and maybe it's not very mature, and I know three years is not really that long, but I really can't imagine not going to a show, or not having drinks with friends, or not eating out, or not going to movies, or not just going home to relax for three whole years. The kids in the program seemed pretty plugged into theater and nothing else. And that's worrisome for me because I like theater, but I'm not committed to it. I don't have that obsession for it, that little spark that separates the rest of us from the theater nerds. I've known for quite some time that I'm not into theater. But doing it gave me a chance to sew and craft, which is what I really love to do.

So all of this brings me to why I initially decided to post. I took a quick 32-question career quiz on ivillage.
Here are the results:

You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

University Professor
Graphic Designer
Online Content Developer
Managing Director

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

It's so accurate. Artist is definitely my #1 career choice. When I was a kid I really wanted to be a vet or a nurse. I've always loved photography. And just last year I thought about becoming a nutritionist.

So here's the game plan. Move somewhere awesome, try to become an artist. If that doesn't work become a banker.

February 8th, 2007

We had a moment...

I thought my job couldn't get any better, and then today happened. No undergrad assistants work on Wednesday, so I was the only one around who could take measurements for the cast of Hair. Wow, what a rush. I rarely get close enough to others to decisively state their eye color, and it excites me to no end that part of my job involves measuring people and their most intimate parts. I love it. It's quite a workout.

Stand up straight.
Look forward, please.
Breath in, breath out...now relax.

Head circumference, forehead to nape, ear to ear, low neck, high neck, center front to waist, nape to bust point, nape to waist line, chest, underbust/ribcage, waist, low hips, high hips, center back to waist, center back to below seat, center back to below knee, center back to floor, center back to shoulder, center back to elbow, center back to wrist, underarm to wrist, underarm to waist, apex to apex (nipple to nipple if you were wondering), armscye, armscye to armscye front, armscye to armscye back, bicep, elbow, wrist, hand, thigh above knee, ankle, outseam to below knee, outseam to floor, inseam to below knee, inseam to floor, girth, half girth, and crotch depth.

I'm like a superhero. Me and my measuring tape. The tape is my sidekick. Reliable, consistent, flexible, double sided, and plastic.

I've always liked bodies. They're all a little different, yet remarkably similar. I have yet to measure a head that's bigger than 23 and half inches in circumference. Most heads lie somewhere between 21 and 23 inches. Still, everyone swears that their head is huge.

November 29th, 2006

home sweet home

i'm finally back from california, a visit that was a total blast from the past. high school reunion, staying at my dad's house, visiting grandma. some things never change. that's good, i suppose. but other times it really sneaks up on you, and in my case, makes me freak out. my jaw hurt all weekend, a definite sign of emotional stress and tension. i spent a lot of time on the internet, a sign of boredom...not the regular, "i'm at work and don't want to do any of the jobs my boss has assigned to me," boredom [the kind i'm experiencing right now]. it was the, "my dad's television is as old as i am and doesn't work/there is still nothing to do in my hometown," type boredom. there has been a positive after effect of having gone home. i seemed to have completely forgotten about gofugyourself and thesuperficial so when i got to work today i had a webgossipfest of unusual proportions. it was awesome.

my iron came yesterday and its so beautiful. shiny, silver, steamy...mmmm, delicious. i've never felt this type of lust for an industrial grade object. i think that means i have a fetish. greg helped me suspend the water bottle from the radiator pipe with a hanger. hopefully it will hold. now all i'm waiting for are scissors. i won a lot of 6 gingher scissors, snips and shears on ebay. a $250 value for only 50 bucks! I'm especially excited about the pinking shears and the thread nips. my work room is just about complete. 2 sewing machines, 1 bernina serger, 1 dress form, 1 industrial iron, many scissors, measurement tools in all shapes and sizes, an ironing/cutting table, and loads of pins, needles, zippers, boning, cording, buttons and snaps. its like my own mini sweatshop.

October 31st, 2006


Scary. 8 months and counting. That's how long I have until I ESCAPE FROM CHARLOTTESVILLE! I figure now is a good time to start planning things, cause if I don't I may be sucked back into the whirlwind and lost forever.

I'm so excited because today is 1) halloween, 2) my last day of employment at the Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, 3) the first fucking day of the rest of my life!

I tried really hard to think of an interesting costume this year, but failed. That's how it is I suppose; always a costumer, never costumed. Except last year when I was Condoleeza Rice. That was awesome. I wore this purple POWER SUIT, and navy pumps. At midnight I turned into Zombie Condie. I think my plans for this year were too ambitious. I like to dress up as historically recognizable figures, entertainers excluded (although I almost caved when Mary suggested that I be Diana Ross....or was it Tina Turner). Anyhow, this presents a problem because there really aren't that many Black female figures for me to represent. After long consideration I decided that Greg and I should go as Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings, mostly because I like to offend people and there are plenty of people in Charlottesville that would react badly to something like that. I got the perfect dress from the costume shop for $1, but we couldn't find anything for Greg. He's too tall and they weren't selling any knickers this year. He also claimed that he didn't have any high socks and was resistant to wearing a pair of my pantyhose. Bah, I say. It could have been so perfect.

October 9th, 2006

the dress

Oh man. I've been sewing all freaking day. I started around noon and haven't really stopped since. It's now 4am and I'm wide awake. That's what happens to me when I get creative...it never stops! It's like I HAVE to finish. Heidi's dress looks nice, even though I fucked up the back part of the skirt. Let me rephrase that. I cut two left side pieces accidentally and now I don't have enough fabric to cut out a right side piece, so it looks like I'll have to get more fabric. Other than that things are going great. I have these cool little handkercheif-like remnants that I am going to try and incorporate, they're the leftovers from cutting the skirt on the bias. I have three days to finish. I haven't stayed up this late since wertland and I'm starting to feel all shakey and weird. I should try and sleep.

September 19th, 2006

white teeth

I got my teeth cleaned for the first time in three years today. boy, was i scared. i imagined that all my teeth had turned to decaying mush and that just below the surface of my hard fillings (some enamel colored, some metalish) lay soupy goop and rotten gums blackened by bacterial matter. like meth mouth, only worse.

Everything was fine though. no cavities, and they even removed the unsightly brownish stain on my front tooth. i can honestly say that i rather enjoyed the scraping off of the tarter barnacles from my crooked lower teeth....almost. aaaah oral hygiene.

I think this means that I'm officially back on track. going to the dentist was the one thing that i was still afraid of. i had a really bad experience with a tooth drill once, and i never wanted that to happen again. that's why i chose a dentist that uses modern air abrasion technology to get rid of cavities. good thing i had none.

January 16th, 2005

Baaaaaaaa jaaaaaaaa
Baaaaaaaaaaaa jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ba ja ba ja ba ja ba ja ba ja
Baaaaa jaaaaaa baaaaa jaaaaa
No more beans and rice.

November 15th, 2004


We're not alone. Lauren, we need to use your camera to apologize for America.

October 27th, 2004

Everyone must die

I feel bad that the only time I decide to post is when I'm really angry and filled with hate. I guess anger is the only emotion I feel on a regular basis. It is also the most frustrating of emotions because killing people is illegal. I don't really want to kill people....like Queen said, "I want to break free." I think a list of things I hate is in order.

1. I hate working. Working for money, volunteering, school work...I hate it all. Working sucks balls, eats a fat dick and takes it up the ass.

2. I hate the fucking routine that has become my life.
Monday: Class from 9-11, work 2-4:30
Tuesday: Work 9-10, class 11-12:15,(Beer Club every other week 3:30) work AGAIN 5:30-10:30
Wednesday: Work 9-11, work somewhere else 12-2(by the way I'm not doing what I am supposed to be doing right now), *work somewhere else 3-whoknowsthefuckwhen*
Thursday: Work 8-10, class 11-12:15, Beer Club 3:30
Friday: Work 10-1, work AGAIN 2-5

On a week by week basis, my life suck ASS (except for beer club). Its the same shit every week and its driving me inSanE. The only thing I really want to be doing is sewing and or knitting and I never get a chance to do these things. FUCK ME. Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhh! I want out of this damn establishment.

3. I hate everyone. Not you, but everyone else. People are stupid and I mostly just want to punch them in their UGLY faces.

4. I hate the election.

5. I hate having so many co-workers. They're all really weird and or 50 years old.

6. I HATE HATE HATE HATE people making comments about my hair. Get the fuck over it already, man. I understand that it's diff'rent and all, but shit....one more comment = punch in the face.

7. I hate being sick. Its been a week already, why am I still snotty???

The rage is back. If I don't release soon, I seriously think something bad will happen. I'm kind of glad that I made that dummy, cause I think I am going to beat the shit out of it when I get home. Maybe that will help.
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